Dear NYC Bikers

why you gotta go so slow

why you don’t pass cars on the left (don’t get right HOOKED)

why you gotta bunch up at the light

why you gotta be shaky and apprehensive

why you gotta take FOREVER to turn left

WHY YOU GOTTA RIDE CITIBIKES like a buncha GOOBS (jk this is actually fine, tho citibikes are bougie af actually, deal with it)

why all the well dressed white peeps ride porteur-handlebarred fixies with brooks leather seats and sunglasses

these kids ain’t fast enough for this city 

hope y’all like westchester when you move up there in a coupla years


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