Hi Nancy et. al.
I’ve unsubscribed from these emails three times but they keep coming back to haunt me. As I understand it I must have become some VIP email recipient, born to a new echelon of privilege much like the denizens of the san francisco neighborhood in which I used to live. While it does pain me to say this, being a VIP and all, I find it necessary to inform you that I moved to New York over a year ago because I hated san francisco unlike any of the other 12 cities I’ve lived over the course of my short (albeit crusty) life. I knew I had to go when it got to the point that I could no longer capitalize sf as a proper noun in sentences, and when the only positive words I could say about it were that it was very far away from my future home, so I would never have to worry about diving through it by accident late at night. If I had had a moniker of citizenship to sf, i would have renounced and shredded it long ago. Unfortunately, it seems your office did not get the memo, despite multiple unsubscribe requests and my having updated every official document in my possession to reflect my new address (passport and driver’s license included). I suppose it’s just a testament to the efficacy of municipal governments. Be that a statement good or bad, I’ll leave it to you to decide.
Anyway, it’s been lovely chatting, I’m glad we got to catch up a bit. Say hi to the kids for me, if you have any. As for the city, I hope the homeless will get some slice of the profits that y’all are making by granting tax cuts to those glorious tech companies. I would say “I’m not holding my breath,” but it probably would be a waste of air anyway.
Dan Barella, VIP to the office of Nancy Pelosi